Becoming invisible

As a kid I always thought a cool superpower would be invisibility.  It made sense, since I was (and still am) afraid of heights, so the ability to fly wasn't on my radar. I thought it would be so cool to be a fly on the wall, listening and observing, much like I do in my daily life. It really is amazing what you can see and hear when people don't realize you're there. 

Fast forward a few years. I'm now in my 50's, the age where I thought I would have it all figured out and be nicely settled in my life. Not so fast screamed life, as it handed out the losses of my mother, sister and good friends within a short amount of time. As if those weren't enough, let's add menopause in the mix! Yeah me!!  Not knowing what was going on and not having my mom to ask questions, I relied on my Doctor. Surely she would know and have the answers, right? Oh, hold on, that's a big fat no. When I first broached the topic, I was told, "you're too young", I was 47. Then after I kept asking, she finally relented, administering some sort of test, only to find out that yes indeed, I was in perimenopause. Nothing makes a woman happier than having to reach 10 on the crazy meter in order to get a Dr. to listen to her, am I right? 

 It was after that that the actual invisibility set it. I always prided myself on being the person who asked questions. Who wasn't afraid to admit that if I didn't know something I reached out to people who did, or at least tried researching it. Getting older doesn't come with a handbook. Every person out there has different experiences. I just wish more of those people were willing to share with others what they learned rather than women having to continue the quest for themselves. Sitting in Doctors offices, asking about sexual health while a nurse or the actual Dr. looks at you like you've grown horns on your head is embarrassing. For all this talk about women lifting other women up, I call bullshit. All the people that I have tried speaking with have been female. NONE of them seem to have a clue, or, if they do, aren't very forthcoming with information. That's beyond disappointing. We are all going to get older, there is no fighting it. But rather than ignoring hard topics and leaving people to fend for themselves, perhaps they can lend a hand. 

When did it become the norm to walk past people that don't seem worthy of your time? If I continued to color my hair a color that is obviously not my real one, wear fake lashes and a pound of makeup on my face I'd be ridiculed for not "acting my age" yet, if I do none of those things, I'm passed over and looked upon as the woman who gave up. You can't win. People tell you they appreciate how much experience you have, yet when it comes to finding a job, it's not the "right" experience. You start to wonder what your own worth is. At my age, I still have value, so instead of looking past me, take a moment to have a genuine conversation with me, find out who I am rather than predetermining that I am not worth any of your time.