Thursday, December 3, 2015

Hating doesn't help......

I was watching an older movie the other day, and something has stuck with me ever since. One of the main characters was asked why they don't hate someone that has hurt their family, and her response was most people don't know that you hate them and most people don't care. I've thought about how much time an energy I have spent being angry with people, some I cam close to hating, and it hit me, I'm wasting my time. It's not worth all that energy. It starts to consume you. It clouds your judgement. It sucks you down into this black hole that continues to get bigger and swallow up any little joy you may have. You start to view so many other things in your life as negative, and soon you are turning into this bitter person you never thought existed.  Am I allowed to be angry over things? Of course, but if I continue down that path, it's going to eat me alive, and sadly I've already started to see it chipping away at the person I used to be. I can't allow that to happen any more. It's so easy to see the dark, to latch on to it, in order to justify why you are feeling the way you are. It's easy to get pissed that my sister has been gone for almost two years, but it hasn't done anything to bring her back. I can get down on myself for how things have changed for my business, but that won't solve anything either. I don't want to turn into this person who only sees sadness in everything and everyone. I no longer want to feel hatred towards myself, and I think that after two years it's time to give myself a break from it.....

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