Thursday, March 12, 2015

Training for a figure show....

I stuck my weight in the sand and decided I was actually going to follow through and do a figure show. I have been talking about doing this for about 2 years, but fear always kept me from going forward. My show is in May and three weeks into the diet side of it I am wondering what the fuck I got myself into. This shit is hard! Obviously I'm not naive to think it was going to be a piece of cake....yum....cake...but you really don't realize how much mentally and emotionally goes into pursuing this goal until your in it. I'm having a hard time not getting down on myself about not being stage ready right this second. Dude, you're 9 weeks out...who the fuck is going to look stage ready at this point? But, I find myself ripping apart any of my success, and slamming myself for still having fat on my legs and ass. At one point I'm assured my ass will in fact start eating itself because it's hungry, but right now, having a hard time believing it. My nutrition coach assures me I am doing great, that I'm right on track, but, since I'm a type "A" personality, I'm harder on myself, so I'm not believing her. The whole thought of "trust the process" is lost on me at this point, due to my crabbiness and lack of energy. You never fully realize how much food helps fuel your training until you are cutting back on it...fuckers! One of the side effects of this is how your friends and acquaintances really don't realize how much you would rather go out for beers than counting your macros, but can't because you know it's going to hinder your progress, and stepping on that stage not looking like I belong there isn't an option. When you start something like this, you start to see who's with you for the long haul, and who's really just waiting to see you fall on your ass. Hopefully I will start to believe in myself pretty soon here...

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