Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Finally...a wave of calm.

For the first time in 11 months I finally felt a wave of calm. For the first time in 11 months I wasn't panicked about what I was eating, when I was training or sad thinking about my sister. It was an amazing feeling, and one I hope continues to happen. I actually felt right about where I was, what I was doing and positive about the future. It's a feeling I am not familiar with. It's a feeling that can be overwhelming and scary. It's a feeling you never want to go away. It's the feeling many people experience when they are finally done fighting with things that are out of their control. A feeling of peace you can't believe is finally happening. And while the feeling may only last a day, a week an hour or a minute, it's so calming it doesn't matter the length. I have been waiting for so many years to experience that feeling, chasing whatever I could in order to obtain it, and finally realizing I couldn't force it or find it, I had to wait. Some may think I'm crazy. I really don't care. What I care about is the fact that for the first time in 11 months I didn't feel helpless. I didn't feel sad. I didn't feel bitter or angry. Most importantly I didn't feel like giving up. I really wish everyone could experience that for a moment, it might help make you feel like you aren't being swallowed up by this world and the people in it......

No comments:

Post a Comment