Monday, September 2, 2013

Is it all prefect when you reach your ideal body goal?

So, if you or anyone has been following my posts recently, you will notice that I have been dealing with some body issues. Well, now I have to call bullshit on that, because it's not just "some issues" it has become a bit more consuming. Sadly, it's like the body dysmorphia is slowly taking over. I have reached out to my naturalpath, in hopes she may have some suggestions that don't involve drugging myself up. I think the most frustrating thing is I can't seem to pinpoint when it came up again. I try to think  back if it was after I stopped powerlifting, or, was it when I stopped being a vegan? I asked my hubby about it this morning, hoping he would have some insight, but unfortunately he's not sure either. I think the hard thing for him is that the words of assurance he gives me don't and can't seem to sink in, that he really can't help me and fix this. Trust me, I wish he could. He did ask a pretty interesting question, and it's one I have chewed on all day: Since my dysmorphia is centered around my weight, if I were to reach my goal weight would it all be better? The sad thing is I don't know, because really, when or if I reach it, what's to say the dysmorphia won't switch to something else? That scares me. It also infuriates me. I know I can't be the only one that has this problem, can I? One thing I do know is that until I start to get a handle on it, I won't and can't be hiding myself. I need to keep moving forward, keep trying to beat this thing and having a clear head is key, because believe me, I would like nothing more than to drink this "problem" away....

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