Thursday, May 2, 2013

Your own highlight reel....

Why does everyone seem to have a cooler highlight reel than me? Is it because I am keenly aware of my imperfections and seem to forget that everyone deals with their own insecurities? Is it because it is so much easier to dismiss my accomplishments than accept any type of praise for them? I think it's because when you are feeling so insecure about yourself, everyone else around you seems to live a better life than your own. While I know this is not the case, I mean honestly, look at poor Amanda Bynes...screaming out for help I tell you, it's still hard to take a step back and look at the world without your rose colored glasses on. We all have ups and downs, it's how we deal with them on a daily basis that defines us. I have a choice, either make lemonade, or take the lemons and start throwing them at people, and really, while the latter sounds like fun, it's such a waste of lemons. Other people look at your highlight reel and are amazed, jealous and in awe, how is it we can't have the same reaction to our own lives that an outsider does? For me, it has a little to do with feeling like I have no right to be happy or proud, as fucked up as that is. I worry people will think I am egotistical, and the last thing I ever want is to give someone ammunition to use against me to cut me down. I can do that very well on my own thank you. I think it's time to stop looking at other peoples accomplishments as being better than my own. It's okay for me to be proud of myself, for getting as far as I have and for wanting to accomplish so much more. It's time my highlight reel became an HBO movie, rather than a Lifetime after school special...

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