Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Creating our own illusions for the outside world...

I was hit with a shocker just yesterday, one of my friends informed me that he and his wife were done. It was amicable, but it was over. I knew they were having troubles, but really, this was out of the blue. I suppose when you put on this illusion that everything is okay, it makes it that much harder to see things like this coming. It got me thinking that so many of us walk around creating our own illusions on a daily basis. Either trying to convince others or ourselves that we are fine. It becomes hard to hear things like your friends are getting a divorce, or so and so's spouse cheated on them when all you have seen is that same couple portraying a happy portrait. Now, I'm not suggesting we all start walking around airing our dirty laundry to each other, but what's wrong with letting our guard down with the ones we love? Are we afraid they won't be there for us if they see the "real" person we are? And if that's the case, how can that person really be considered a good friend to begin with? To be honest, my friend confided many times in me the state of his marriage and how rocky it has been. But only a few weeks ago he told me things were resolved. What happened? All I have been seeing are the positive facebook postings, the happy pictures they were tagged in, the "I love yous" and the support. It saddens me to have a friend going through this, especially when I know he doesn't deserve it. It also got me thinking about how fortunate I am to have a hubby that listens, respects and deeply loves me, especially when I am riding the emotional roller coaster. It wasn't and still isn't easy to let my guard down in front of him, but each time I do, I feel that much more at ease with knowing I don't have to put on some kind of show in front of him for fear of him leaving because he may not like the real me...the one that has emotions, emotions that none of us should have to put on a brave face to hide from the ones we love..

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