Thursday, March 29, 2012

New paths....

So, my last post was a bit of a downer, I will admit, but hey, life is full of roller coasters, right? Anyway, I have been hitting the gym pretty hard the past few days, really trying to get my head back on straight, and I had kind of an "aha" moment....Holy shit, I actually paid myself a fucking compliment!! Yes, I looked in the mirror while doing my shrugs, and was able to think to myself, wow, legs are looking good, and that waist of yours seems to begetting tinier by the day...You would think that this would not be a big deal, but when you are used to looking in the mirror for 0ver 30 years and cutting yourself to pieces, this is a pretty big fucking deal. It made me realize I have a choice, I can either continue the path I have been on for the past 30 years, the one that seems to do nothing positive for me, or I can hop on a new one, and I did just that, and I have to admit, this one seems a bit nicer so far. Of course, I am a realist, so I know there will be days that suck ass, but hey, all I can do is keep fighting the good fight, and instead of that fight being with myself, in the form of self loathing, I'm pushing it back, and telling it to "suck it"....Others may look at me, and not like what they see, but that's on them, I for one, am tired of thinking I should look like everyone else, should wear the smallest size known to man, or just worrying in general what others think, it's a new shift, but one that needs to be made, besides, if we all looked like Kim Kardashian, what fun would that be? Plus, we would need bigger car seats made....no thanks....

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