Monday, September 26, 2011
New shift....towards the positive
Sometimes it's the little things that can make your day...for me, it was a combination of Thursday night and Saturday morning that really turned the light bulb on. I have been an emotional wreck for a while, due to job stresses, and my weight, and honestly, it has sucked. This changed on Friday at work, after I had a great chat with the hubby about the work issues I was having, the ones that were putting self doubt in my head, and making me nervous every day when I went in. After talking with him, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders, and going in to Friday, I had an awesome day, and felt lighter than I had in weeks. Fast forward to Saturday morning, I weighed myself after a month, mostly because I had started a new program and it's the half way mark. I wanted to see if the number had changed, it hadn't, but instead of getting pissed, I shook my head, smiled and put the scale back in the closet. If that had been a few months ago, I would have hauled ass to the gym, frantically running on a treadmill, but, not this time. It finally dawned on me that the number on the scale didn't mean shit. I know how hard I have been working, I know how great my clothes are fitting, I know how much more definition I have and how strong my legs are. So, instead of freaking out, I went and joined my dogs on the chaise, all nice and snuggled up, and I enjoyed the hell out of it! These are the moments that are so important to me, and let me know that I am actually growing as a person and knowing what my priorities are. It's amazing to me that just a few days ago, I was so far low, I really felt scared, but knowing I have a great support system at home saved me, and helped me realize the important things: my husband, my dogs and believing in myself, and I think that is much more important than some number on a fucking scale, don't you?