Thursday, August 25, 2011

Missing the superficial....

There are days I miss being oblivious, and superficial. When I would not care about what was happening in the world, politics and focused more on who was dating who, wearing what designer, when my next tanning appointment was, when I was going to get my nails done, when I could join my friends at the bar for happy hour....Those days seem so long ago, it's hard to remember them, well, except I now have a scar on my cheek from having skin cancer removed and the grey in my hair assures me it's been a long time since I have colored it....The days when I really didn't care too much about other people, their thoughts or opinions. I just assumed I was always right, and knew what I was doing better than others did...As I have gotten older, I have opened my eyes to so many things, it can be a bit overwhelming. I worry about politics, and the people that are elected to make decisions for us, I know that the way I was working out for years was not the best way to get the results I crave, I really could give a rats ass who is dating who. I don't tan, and am actually afraid of the sun, I don't have my nails done, because well, I don't have any, since being a massage therapist, and I rarely drink. I care about what other people think, well, at least to a certain extent, and love having good conversations with people who have different opinions from my own...The one thing I can't seem to get a grip on is this paranoia that I am not good at what I do....I care about the people on my table, I want them to feel better when I am done with them, I want to give them hugs when I know they are having a tough time of things...It's hard for me to disconnect myself from what I do, and I am amazed at those that can. I am assured I am good at what I do, based on feedback from my regular clients and the people I work with, but, there is still this little voice in my head that keeps putting those thoughts in my head that I should really get in another line of work....Why? I look at these CEO's that go from one Company to another, never really doing a good job, but still getting paid quite nicely and still rehired time after time, and yet I worry about whether or not I got enough tension out of someone's back? How jacked up is that way of thinking? I see more people on a day to day basis that half ass their jobs and seem to be perfectly fine with it, and seeing as how nobody is calling them on it, why shouldn't they be okay with spending all day on Facebook or texting their friends? This is the only thing I hate about getting older, losing the ability to shut out what new knowledge you have learned, ignoring the way the world is being run....If only I had E, I could spend all day dumbing myself down by watching Jersey Shore or Keeping up with the Kardashians.....

1 comment:

  1. What is important in life never changes, 'tis only our perception that does.

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