Thursday, August 4, 2011

The little green man of protection...

First, a disclaimer, I am not a parent, and I am by choice not a parent...What I am though is a believer that a parent needs to watch their kid, and not rely on the plastic little green man they put in their yard to do it for them. Have you seen these ridiculous things? You can get them at home depot or some other place, and basically it is a little green man, holding a sign that states "slow down"....Wow, how awesome and comforting to know this little plastic dude will keep your kid safe while in the yard, so you don't have to watch them....The best is when a parent is in the yard, with this green guy, and a plastic cup full of beer...I also love seeing children playing in the back of a car, with the hatchback, while no parent is to be seen, it's like they really are oblivious to the fact that their 2 year old could get their hand crushed in the door while their 6 year old daughter is playing with it...Then they shake their head in amazement when it happens...I have some advice for you, watch your fucking kids, because I have better things to do than do it for you. Get off your phone while you are walking across the parking lot and your kid is just running around, stop assuming others are paying attention to what your kids are doing, because honestly, the person driving the car that could possibly hit your child is probably on their cell phone as well...You wanted a kid, then be a parent. Pay attention. Don't rely on some plastic green guy to spread the word to "slow down"...Perhaps you should be out in the yard with your 2 year old to begin with, rather than chatting on the phone to Sally about how hard it is being a mommy and trying to get to Zumba on time.. All I ask is that you stop assuming everyone else in the neighborhood is going to keep an eye on your children for you because you apparently have better things to do than watch "the greatest gift on earth"...your own child, you know, the one playing in the middle of the street.....

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