Monday, June 27, 2011

Do I really want this?

So...here it is...7 weeks from my first powerlifting competition, and I started to wonder if I have what it takes. Really?! Now I am questioning myself? After starting my training over 2 months ago? WTF?! I can only come up with one reason for it...fear of success....I know, how weird is that? Afraid of being successful? Who ever heard of such a thing? Well, interesting enough, it's not that uncommon, even more interesting is that I have been fighting it a lot longer than I care to admit. Why? Well, it's so much easier to be mediocre, isn't it? You never really have to put yourself "out there" for fear of falling short of expectations, whether they be your own or others around you. It reminds me of why people are so big into running 5k's. Anyone can do that, you get to stand with a rather large group of others, run this race, then brag to your friends that you ran a race that weekend, leaving out the point that 400 others ran it as well, and you finished 350th...But that's safer than standing up and saying you are going to compete in a certain Ironman competition with only a few others, and possibly come in 3rd. Why is it so much easier to stand in a crowd, than alone? Because it takes a certain type of person to put themselves out there, to train harder than others, to be strict about their nutrition and to remain focused....So, I had to ask myself this morning, do I really want this? And the answer came quick, yes, I do...And why do I want this? Because I am not mediocre, I am not afraid to put myself out there and try something different, perhaps set some personal records and prove to others that there is more to life than running 5k's every weekend in the latest skort or other nonsense fashion get up.....

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