Thursday, June 30, 2011

Why Mary Lou Retton is my hero......

The name is a blast from the past isn't it? I remember being in awe of this woman, with her skills as a gymnast, I wanted to follow in her footsteps, who wouldn't? Olympic gold anyone? I remember watching her, never once questioning why her legs were so big and muscular, or wondering how much she weighed, how many calories she ate or how many hours a day she worked out. All I saw was absolute commitment to a sport she excelled at. I never really read about any eating disorder she had. Never once read about her partying too hard, driving drunk or being placed under arrest. She always seemed to just be living her life to the fullest, and after getting married and having children, I am happy to read that she is passing so many great values on to her kids. She doesn't own a scale, you won't find one in her house. They don't use the terms "skinny" or "fat", just the word "healthy". She herself exercises about 3 days a week, careful due to the many surgeries she has had, the point is she listens to her body. She also isn't pushing her kids to go in any certain direction when it comes to sports, she wants them to have fun, enjoy themselves and cheer on the side, not be the parent that's on the mat screaming at her kid to go harder, faster etc....She's a real person who happened to have one Olympic gold, but she isn't defined by only that, which is a reminder to me, that it's okay to have ambition, but don't foregt to enjoy life along the way....This is why she is my hero.....

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Trying to be nice....it's a challenge at times..

I am trying to figure out why it is so hard to be nice to people. They tend to make it very difficult I have to say. Sound too negative? Well, again, at least I am honest about it. Our society is all about getting ahead of the person in front of them, having the better car, bigger house etc....at the expense of who and what I have to wonder. I live in a nice neighborhood, one might consider it affluent. I don't. I see it as more of a prison to be honest with you, with it's ticky tacky little boxes, stepford type occupants and constant one-upmanship. The manicured lawns, underground sprinkler systems and landscaping drive me insane sometimes. Mostly because I can't believe that at one point I was a part of that. Why I ask myself. Was it because I had no self worth? I had to show everyone how much money I could spend? Seek outside approval from strangers? And why, they are STRANGERS....Not people I spend any time with...and after observing some of these people's behavior, I definitely do not want to get to know them. These are the people that go flying at warp speed in their cars in a residential neighborhood, no regards to pets or children playing, yet are the first to put a hand written sign in their lawns that simply states "slow down!"...The same ones that will fly thru a stop sign, while on their cell phones, with the understanding that everyone else should be courteous to their needs. The ones that see nothing wrong with talking down to a cashier because they are somehow "better" than the person bagging their organic food. These are the ones I am talking about, how can you be nice to them? They make it so fucking hard! I try to think of what the Dali Lama says, about seeing people simply as people, humans, but after getting in my car, obeying the laws and doing all the right things, it's really difficult to see the asshole in the Yukon, talking on his call phone, while eating breakfast just breeze thru a stop sign, causing 2 other cars to slam their brakes on to avoid being hit....Human? No, big piece of human excrement? Yep, that's more like it.....

Monday, June 27, 2011

Do I really want this?

So...here it is...7 weeks from my first powerlifting competition, and I started to wonder if I have what it takes. Really?! Now I am questioning myself? After starting my training over 2 months ago? WTF?! I can only come up with one reason for it...fear of success....I know, how weird is that? Afraid of being successful? Who ever heard of such a thing? Well, interesting enough, it's not that uncommon, even more interesting is that I have been fighting it a lot longer than I care to admit. Why? Well, it's so much easier to be mediocre, isn't it? You never really have to put yourself "out there" for fear of falling short of expectations, whether they be your own or others around you. It reminds me of why people are so big into running 5k's. Anyone can do that, you get to stand with a rather large group of others, run this race, then brag to your friends that you ran a race that weekend, leaving out the point that 400 others ran it as well, and you finished 350th...But that's safer than standing up and saying you are going to compete in a certain Ironman competition with only a few others, and possibly come in 3rd. Why is it so much easier to stand in a crowd, than alone? Because it takes a certain type of person to put themselves out there, to train harder than others, to be strict about their nutrition and to remain focused....So, I had to ask myself this morning, do I really want this? And the answer came quick, yes, I do...And why do I want this? Because I am not mediocre, I am not afraid to put myself out there and try something different, perhaps set some personal records and prove to others that there is more to life than running 5k's every weekend in the latest skort or other nonsense fashion get up.....

Friday, June 24, 2011

X-Rays of our Asses?!

So, I sit here in quiet disbelief after reading a headline on one of the news sites I follow, key word being "news", when I happen to see a headline regarding Kim Kardashian. Now, I am not a reality show follower, I really don't understand the draw, but to each his own I say. What caught my eye was the fact that she actually had an x-ray done of her ass to prove to everyone that it is in fact her real ass, and not implants...WTF?! Is this what the world is coming to? Aren't we still involved in two wars? Aren't gas prices too high? Isn't the state of Minnesota on the verge of a government shutdown? And yet, this is what people are interested in...the dumbing down of America continues I see...It reminded me of an article a while back, during the whole Tiger Woods scandal, when the Dali Lama was asked his feelings on the subject (since Tiger is such a HUGE Buddhist apparently) the Dali Lama replied he did not know who Tiger Woods was...I miss the days when celebrities were a bit more anonymous, a little less into proving how "normal" they are, and when people actually made decisions for themselves, not because George Clooney or Demi Moore feel a certain way....And when I could read real news......

Thursday, June 23, 2011

The progression of bitterness...

I just returned home after hitting the gym and the grocery store, yes, my life in the fast lane is crazy! Anyway..the gym is a constant reminder to me of how many bitter seeming people there are in the world. You would think that it would be the opposite at a gym, being able to work through a stressful day, blowing off steam what have you, but that's not the case for many of the faces I see on a daily basis at the gym. Day in and day out, doing the same workouts, with the same weights, or cardio equipment, all with this sour look upon their faces. Yes, I work out early in the morning, and I can concede many people are not morning people, but hey, I didn't force you out of bed to come in, did I? While I realize working out for many people is a necessary evil, that's really no excuse to be a total dick at the gym to the others around you. Wipe down your equipment when you just get done sweating on it, re rack your weights when you are done using them, let others work in with you between sets, just don't walk around with your head down, eyes glued to your facebook page on your smart phone and get pissed when YOU walk into someone...Again, not forcing you to be there my friend, so stop being bitter about it and radiating that throughout the place...which brings me to the grocery store...I am in line behind a woman with 6 cartons of milk in her cart, and a very pissed off look on her face. I realize I don't know what's going on in your life, but honestly, is that any reason to be rude to the check out people? Is it really their fault you had to stop there after yoga and pick up milk for your children you seem bitter to have had? No, it's not....so stop acting so put upon..It seems to me the more people I see that have had kids become more and more bitter about the responsibility as they get older. The resentment for having to cart them from activity to activity, not being able to go where and when you want to go, always having to wait for a sitter or the husband to get home so he can "babysit" his own children...Makes me wonder if you don't enjoy being a parent, why do it in the first place? So, I leave you with this...choices are there, you decide which one needs to be made, and no, you can't blame others for the ones you end up not liking later on down the road..Til then, keep your bitter attitude away from me, because I have better things to do than deal with you and your mediocre life you are bitter about choosing to live.....

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Can't go back to the "old way"....

It's amazing what can happen in a few months time...I'm finding that since I am now 40, priorities have changed, quite a bit in fact...Became a vegetarian, quit quite a few jobs, changed industries, and am now back to doing massage..full circle if you will...One thing I realize is that once you start opening your eyes to things, it's really hard to go back to your old way of thinking. I was ready to give in, and eat chicken a while back, figured it was so much easier to get my protein in, but then I remembered why I became vegetarian, and put that thought out of my head. I thought about how I used to just spend money all willy nilly on silly things that I thought I needed to make me happy, putting myself and my husband into debt, and now I have a hard time spending money at all, even on necessities like socks..how weird is that? I have also shifted my goals with my workouts, entering the realm of powerlifting, yes, me, a 5'1 124 pound 40 year old woman, lifting heavy things and wanting to lift more...no longer the "cardio queen" I once was, although yes, I still do some, can't give it ALL up you know...It's hard though when you are on a different path from so many others around you, they don't get it, and you are made to feel like there's something wrong with you, and sadly there are days I question my sanity as well. I try to remember I am on my own path, and sadly when you are having a lighter lifting day and being given strange looks at the gym, I really want to shout that from the top of my lungs "I AM ON A DIFFERENT PATH FROM YOU SO SUCK IT!!"....of course, I don't...What's the point? I was on a social website for weight loss, still am in fact, but have become bored with it. I get tired of reading about people whining about not being able to have any will power to NOT eat a whole bag of snickers, or how hard it is to work out 3 days a week for 30 minutes, or expecting a pat on the head with a gold star for eating a junior cheeseburger, rather than the double decker with large fries...REALLY!?? Do you think this has been easy for ANYONE who has been successful with their weight loss? It's hard work, stop whining, expecting a pill and a pat on the back...get off you ass, put the effort in, and you might be amazed!! ugh!! Those people drive me insane!! Quite the rant there, sorry.....Get a bit fired up by laziness....Anyway, back on topic, the point I am trying to make, is it's too hard to go back to what I used to be like, and that's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just hard to explain it to the person you are having a conversation with that you are trying to end because you realize they aren't worth your time....Harsh? A bit...but, at least I am nothing if not honest....